How to Prepare for Aging Parents Before the Holidays

As the holidays approach, most families are thinking about travel plans, favorite recipes, and whose house is hosting this year. But if you have aging parents, November is also the perfect time to quietly check in, plan ahead, and prepare for the “what ifs” that nobody really wants to talk about—but everyone feels in the back of their mind.

A little preparation now can prevent a crisis later: a middle-of-the-night ER visit, confusion about money or paperwork, or family conflict over who’s doing what. This doesn’t have to be scary or overwhelming. Think of it as giving your future self (and your parents) the gift of peace of mind for the season ahead.

Below are five key areas to review before the holidays, plus a simple, printable checklist you can use as a guide.

1. Review and Update Essential Documents

Before things get busy, take time to confirm that your parents’ key documents are completed, updated, and accessible. Many families are surprised to find out that these forms are missing—or outdated—right when they’re needed most.

Start with these core documents:

• Health care proxy / medical power of attorney

  • Who is legally allowed to make medical decisions if your parent cannot?

  • Do your parents still feel comfortable with the person they chose?

• Financial power of attorney

  • Who can help with bills, banking, and financial decisions if needed?

  • Do you know where this document is stored?

• Living will / advance directives

  • Have your parents recorded their wishes about life-sustaining treatments, resuscitation, or end-of-life care?

• Will and beneficiary designations

  • Are these documents current, and do they reflect your parents’ wishes?

  • Have major life events happened since they were last updated (death, divorce, new grandchildren)?

Gentle ways to start the conversation

You might say:

• “As we head into the holidays, I want to make sure we’re prepared if anything unexpected ever happens. Would you be open to reviewing your paperwork together?”

• “I love you and want to honor your wishes. Can you help me understand what you have in place and what’s important to you?”

You don’t have to figure out every legal detail in one sitting, but even locating and organizing documents is a huge step forward.

2. Check Home Safety and Mobility Readiness

If your parents are hosting, or you’re visiting their home, the holidays are a natural time to look around and ask: Is this house still safe and workable for them?

Key home safety areas to review:

• Fall risks

  • Loose rugs, cluttered walkways, cords on the floor

  • Poor lighting in hallways, stairs, bedrooms, and bathrooms

• Bathroom safety

  • Grab bars by the toilet and in the shower

  • Non-slip mats inside and outside the tub

  • A stable shower chair or bench if balance is an issue

• Stairs and entrances

  • Railings that are sturdy on both sides

  • Steps free of ice, leaves, or clutter

  • A plan for snow shoveling or sanding if they live in a cold climate

• Emergency readiness

  • Working smoke and carbon monoxide detectors

  • A list of emergency contacts near the phone or on the fridge

  • A charged cell phone your parent can easily use

This doesn’t have to be a “safety inspection.” It can be as simple as saying,

“While I’m here, let’s walk through the house together and see if there’s anything we can tweak to make things safer and easier for you.”

3. Plan Caregiving Logistics and Holiday Travel

The holidays often bring big questions: Who is visiting when? Who is staying overnight? Who is helping Mom or Dad with medications, meals, or personal care? Without a plan, this can create stress, resentment, or last-minute scrambling.

Questions to discuss as a family:

• Daily routines

  • Who will help with medications, meals, or rides to appointments before and after the holidays?

  • Are there days when your parent is alone longer than they should be?

• Travel plans

  • Is it safe and comfortable for your parent to travel (by car or plane)?

  • Do they need wheelchair assistance, extra breaks, or someone traveling with them?

• Respite and backup support

  • If the primary caregiver gets sick or overwhelmed, who can step in?

  • Are there local home care agencies or respite options you can identify now, before there’s an urgent need?

Consider setting up a simple shared calendar (Google Calendar, a group text, or a caregiving app) so siblings and close family members can see who’s doing what and when. Clarity helps everyone feel more supported—and less alone.

4. Acknowledge Emotional and Financial Stress

Holidays with aging parents can bring up a lot of mixed emotions: gratitude, sadness, worry, guilt, and sometimes old family dynamics. Add financial pressures and the weight of caregiving, and it can feel like “a lot”—even if nobody says it out loud.

Make space for emotional check-ins

• Ask your parent:

  • “How are you really feeling about the holidays this year?”

  • “Is there anything you’re worried about that we can plan around?”

• Ask yourself and siblings:

  • “What feels hardest for you right now?”

  • “How can we support each other better this season?”

Be honest about finances

Caring for aging parents can impact work schedules, savings, and travel budgets. It’s okay to talk about this.

• Discuss what’s realistic for everyone.

• Explore ways to simplify the holidays—fewer gifts, shorter trips, or hosting in a way that feels manageable.

Remember: Your presence and planning often matter more than the “perfect” celebration.

5. Use November as Your “Get Organized” Month

Instead of waiting for a crisis, treat November as your planning month. This is your window to:

• Gather documents

• Update contact lists and medications

• Check home safety

• Clarify roles and expectations

Doing this now doesn’t remove all risk—but it dramatically reduces the chaos and fear that often show up when a crisis hits.